Friday, 15 June 2012

The fly's vacation

In a restaurant: Customer: Waiter, waiter! There is a frog in my soup!!! Waiter: Sorry, sir. The fly is on vacation.

The West Indie's product

Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies? Student: I don't know. Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from? Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

The father's help

Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself.

The genorus help

Father: What did you do today to help your mother? Son: I dried the dishes Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces.

The egg story

A: Look at your face I know what you had for breakfast B: What was it? A: Eggs. B: No, that was yesterday.

The verb to walk

The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present. The student: I walk. You walk .... The teacher intruptes him: Quicker please. The student: I run. You run ...

The belt comedy

"You look very funny wearing that belt." "I would look even funnier if I didn't wear it."

The thumb in the soup

Customer: Excuse me, but I saw your thumb in my soup when you were carrying it. Waitress: Oh, that's okay. The soup isn't hot.

The costly bill

Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it.

The son and dad

Son: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No.

The little jhonny and the Teacher

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom? Little Johnny: But I asked first!

The Pupil's homework

PUPIL: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?" TEACHER:" Of course not." PUPIL: "Good, because I haven`t done my homework."

The elephant's death

A: Why are you crying? B: The elephant is dead. A: Was he your pet? B: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave.

The taxi man

A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi. B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

The ten dollar bill

 Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.